Let me explain! When I arrived to work on Monday, I had an email from my corporate credit card account provider informing me of possible fraudulent charges. It only showed one charge which immediately, I knew it wasn’t mine. Hurrying, I went online to view my recent activity. Starting on Saturday, there were two charges to two different hotels, two charges to two different Winn-Dixie’s and two charges to two different Publix’s in various areas of Florida. Why two charges and two different locations, I have no clue. The charges totaled to over $2000. I thought to myself, if I had used my personal debit card that would have been horrific. I called the credit card company and went through the proper channels to be directed to the fraud department. I spoke with a representative who was very helpful and reassuring even though I thought I would be given the third degree about where I was and did I use the card! I have been reading lately that identify theft is on the rise so I prayed that maybe she had all the proof she needed. The representative verified my address and issued me another card. Thank GOD it was that simple! I checked my account today and the charges are still there, so I don’t know how long it will take for the charges to be credited. It’s really sad that some people’s job occupation is to steal credit cards or people’s personal information to sell for money. The representative stated that the card was copied by someone that had physical access to the card. They knew this because some of the information held by the counterfeiters was only available on the card itself.  This is apparently known as skimming and is a major problem with credit cards right now.  The cards are usually swiped by a clerk at a restaurant, gas station, and etc, when you give them the card to pay your bill. Now keep in mind, I used the card at several restaurants, hotel, and airport while on my business trip in North Carolina. I notified my other two co-workers who went on the trip with me of the compromising of my card and found out my supervisor’s personal credit card had been compromised also. We immediately realized it had to be at one of the restaurants we ate at because he didn’t use his corporate card for food. He only uses his corporate card for hotel, flight, and car rental transactions. He had bogus charges to show up in various parts of the world (two different countries simultaneously) along with some attempts to change the pin number on the card. I guess to take money off the card.

Be aware of the many types of thefts and watch how you handle your cards when paying bills. I will no longer use my debit card for those transactions. It would have been a totally different story if it was my debit card because it’s linked directly to my checking account. Even though that money would be returned, who knows how long it would take. If you are like me, I use my checking account to pay my bills. That type of money being removed at one time could have caused checks to bounce and numerous overage charges depending on the amount of checks or automatic payments pending. Get in the know and use precaution when using your debit or credit cards.

The purpose of my trip was to visit the actual job site of a project that I’m currently working on. I planned to get as much information as possible to help me with future projects as well as see the work I would actually be executing. It was so fulfilling to be able to visualize what I put on paper to send to a job site and see the manifestation of my works in person. OK so much for the bragging!

Now to the real tea – I’m not a selfish person, but I like what I like and some things are off limit to others. Over that week, I learned that traveling with co-workers can be just as bad as traveling with a two year old. Some people can’t seem to keep their hands off other people’s things! My property is mine and this may sound simple but there are some things I just do not want to share! On my trip, the irritation began with this particular co-worker messing with my RED pen. I did not want to say anything – but if looks could kill – he would be dead today! You maybe thinking it’s only a pen, but it’s MY pen. I needed my pen to mark up my drawings and I only had one. Also he puts his pens in his mouth. NASTY………… I only took a few items out of town with me so I really needed my pen. It took all that I had and some, not to hold a grudge and keep sane – every time he picked up something of mine. It went from my pen, to my drawings, to my camera, to my highlighter. The worst part is I start looking for what’s missing and he knows what I’m looking for and he doesn’t admit he has it until I ask him directly. Do you not know when you put something in your bag that doesn’t belong to you? Did he not know that he needed these same items for the field trip? I kept reminding myself that if he would JUST ASK, I might feel somewhat better about the situation. Not to mention it continued even when we returned to the office. To avoid an uproar in our office, I politely sent him an email informing him of my frustration. He quickly emailed me back apologizing and promising never to do it again. I guess some people don’t know they have problems until they are confronted with them. With all that said and done – the moral of the story is… don’t take for granted that people do not mine you messing with their stuff. It could be the simplest thing, like a pen that could annoy a person and ruin a good relationship! Just ask and you may save yourself and someone else from being irritated and bothered by your actions.

Do you ever feel like, when you finally put your mind to something and set a goal, something always get in the way?  For me, I’ve never been a big sweet eater but lately, I can’t stop eating the sweets! It seems as though others for example my spouse, son, and other family members are no help in encouraging me to lose the weight and leave the sweets along. Of course, it’s really not their problem but it would help a great deal to have their support. So now … I have taken a stand to Encourage Myself and you should do the same. Don’t rely on others to encourage you – do it yourself. No matter what goals you are trying to reach – whether it’s starting your own business, obtaining a degree, getting out of debt, or even searching for a new job, Encourage Yourself. Don’t let anything or anybody stop you from reaching your goals not even you! Sometimes we are our own biggest hinder in obtaining and reaching our goals – but we’ll save that story for another blog!

Usually, the way you were raised has significant bearing on how you deal with work and family. I say proudly, my mother worked and took care of home. However, in some cases, the mother works and leaves the children to do for themselves. Sorry if I have stepped on your foot with this statement!

My mother did whatever it took to make sure we had the necessities in life. The first few years of my life – it was only my mother maintaining the household. I was fortunate to have the support from my grandparents. But let me stress… mother was the head of our household.

I can now look back at the struggles of what my mother had to go through to make sure me and my brother had the things we needed to be successful in life. Looking back and knowing how my mother worked and still took care of us – nourished, mentored and most of all taught us about GOD – has truly paid off. That’s why it is easy for me to balance work and family – because my mother did!

I’ve learned that in every negative situation, to try and seek out some good! The reason I can say this – if you’ve lived not such a good life- you take those experiences and do better for your family and on the job. If you’ve lived a good life- you take those experiences and pass along to your family and work ethics.

So no matter what LIFE DEALS YOU… You can make a difference in your future!

Yes, it can be done

No one and what I mean by no one – family or friends, you talk to, can give you the answers you’re looking for. And, of course it’s hard for others to understand what you’re going through when they haven’t gone through that exact situation. Ever wonder why that happens? Did you ever think it’s because you’re going to the wrong person or people? I recommend you take all your troubles and cares to GOD. He’s the only one that can ease the pain that you’re feeling. He may not be there right when you want him, but he’ll be there, right on time! He won’t put you through no more than you can handle. Just think, GOD may just need your undivided attention and this is the only way he can get it! Go to GOD in prayer when things are going good in your life and most definitely when they are not.

Always remember GOD knows exactly what he’s doing and he has you right where he wants you. Be patient, because soon the sun will shine. When you’re up to nothing, God always up to something!

It’s amazing that in the dictionary, commitment is defined as simply being a previously planned engagement or the act of being responsible and loyal – but in real LIFE it goes much deeper and extends wider than what our minds want to comprehend.

O.K. first let me begin with stressing the importance of dedicating your life to God by freely giving yourself to him. Now that’s the easy part!  Where it all becomes complicated is when we allow self to dictate what we will or will not do based solely on how we feel or how we’ve been treated.

I’ve learned that commitment is an act of true – unconditional love. Just like the love GOD has for us. Have you ever committed to something and no matter how hard you tried to release it something deep down inside just would not let you let go? That’s commitment!

Value- what about it? If you value something usually you hang tight to it.
You keep it in your possession. I’ll say value is another level of commitment. So let’s review – Unconditional Love and Value- yes… both spells commitment.

Let’s dig just a little bit deeper for one more real definition of commitment! Unwavering belief in yourself – if you believe in you, it helps you to believe in others. And, no matter how hard it may seem – every time you think about commitment – think about if you are being committed to yourself. How would you treat you? How many times have you forgiven you for mistakes you made? Get the point!

I found out that if you love you… it’s not that hard to be committed! Now, if we look at the acronym of what has been defined as commitment – you’ll find that:

U in Unconditional

L in Love

V in Value

U in Unwavering

ULVU = (You Love You) = equals (COMMITMENT)

Not sure why, but I have always been an individual that my family members and peers have come to for suggestions and advice. I have a host of family members and friends that God has blessed me with to share this journey called life. Talking with others and helping them in any and every way possible, gives me great enjoyment.

I am aware that life can sometimes become very unpredictable and stressful.  And, sometimes we just need those encouraging words to get us motivated to go on.  Now keeping it REAL … many of us, when we talk, we just want someone to listen to us without judgment or criticism.   So being able to listen is as important as offering advice. I’ve learned that we often think that no one goes through or have gone through personal trials but us. Come to find out … some of the same issues that we face day to day, many others have been there and done that too.  To our surprise, someone else’s situation is most times worse than we would have ever imagined ours to be!

The Real Tea is a blog site created to uplift, empower and encourage ALL women no matter age or race.   We all have testimonies that someone can learn from or relate to.  This site will allow you to write, comment and just read blog posts.   Ladies, we have to GROW through … what we GO through.  When you know better you do better you see, now that’s the REAL TEA.

Men you are not excluded! We want your opinions about how you see things. Feel free to leave your comments so we can try and understand from your perspective on these real life situations.