The Real Tea

I hope each and every mother had a wonderful Mother’s Day. This should have been a day to show your love and appreication to your mother, grandmother, mother-n-law, aunts, cousins, and friends that have mentored, modeled, invested, instructed or whatever else to help you to become the person you are today. If that person isn’t here thank GOD for the time you did have with them and for the example they gave. While you have an opportunity to spend time you should. Happy Mother’s Day.

Have you ever wondered why people take advantage of other people’s things? Well… I traveled out- of-town, about a month ago, on a job related trip.  Now, I truly enjoyed myself but as the story goes – history repeats itself and it most certainly did for me. It’s always something or someone with or without intentions that can irritate the heck out of you!

The purpose of my trip was to visit the actual job site of a project that I’m currently working on. I planned to get as much information as possible to help me with future projects as well as see the work I would actually be executing. It was so fulfilling to be able to visualize what I put on paper to send to a job site and see the manifestation of my works in person. OK so much for the bragging!

Now to the real tea – I’m not a selfish person, but I like what I like and some things are off limit to others. Over that week, I learned that traveling with co-workers can be just as bad as traveling with a two year old. Some people can’t seem to keep their hands off other people’s things! My property is mine and this may sound simple but there are some things I just do not want to share! On my trip, the irritation began with this particular co-worker messing with my RED pen. I did not want to say anything – but if looks could kill – he would be dead today! You maybe thinking it’s only a pen, but it’s MY pen. I needed my pen to mark up my drawings and I only had one. Also he puts his pens in his mouth. NASTY………… I only took a few items out of town with me so I really needed my pen. It took all that I had and some, not to hold a grudge and keep sane – every time he picked up something of mine. It went from my pen, to my drawings, to my camera, to my highlighter. The worst part is I start looking for what’s missing and he knows what I’m looking for and he doesn’t admit he has it until I ask him directly. Do you not know when you put something in your bag that doesn’t belong to you? Did he not know that he needed these same items for the field trip? I kept reminding myself that if he would JUST ASK, I might feel somewhat better about the situation. Not to mention it continued even when we returned to the office. To avoid an uproar in our office, I politely sent him an email informing him of my frustration. He quickly emailed me back apologizing and promising never to do it again. I guess some people don’t know they have problems until they are confronted with them. With all that said and done – the moral of the story is… don’t take for granted that people do not mine you messing with their stuff. It could be the simplest thing, like a pen that could annoy a person and ruin a good relationship! Just ask and you may save yourself and someone else from being irritated and bothered by your actions.

It’s going on the sixth week of my exercising and thankfully, I have dropped 7 pounds. Now, my guess is – if I could only leave the sweets out of my diet – I could easily drop several more pounds. But I’m encouraged anyway for the few pounds that I have lost!

Do you ever feel like, when you finally put your mind to something and set a goal, something always get in the way?  For me, I’ve never been a big sweet eater but lately, I can’t stop eating the sweets! It seems as though others for example my spouse, son, and other family members are no help in encouraging me to lose the weight and leave the sweets along. Of course, it’s really not their problem but it would help a great deal to have their support. So now … I have taken a stand to Encourage Myself and you should do the same. Don’t rely on others to encourage you – do it yourself. No matter what goals you are trying to reach – whether it’s starting your own business, obtaining a degree, getting out of debt, or even searching for a new job, Encourage Yourself. Don’t let anything or anybody stop you from reaching your goals not even you! Sometimes we are our own biggest hinder in obtaining and reaching our goals – but we’ll save that story for another blog!

For many years, women have both worked and helped to maintain their families. Personally, I find it easy to do both. Now… there are others who think differently, either do one or place more time into the other. Work and family should be an equal balance or if you have to choose, family comes first.

Usually, the way you were raised has significant bearing on how you deal with work and family. I say proudly, my mother worked and took care of home. However, in some cases, the mother works and leaves the children to do for themselves. Sorry if I have stepped on your foot with this statement!

My mother did whatever it took to make sure we had the necessities in life. The first few years of my life – it was only my mother maintaining the household. I was fortunate to have the support from my grandparents. But let me stress… mother was the head of our household.

I can now look back at the struggles of what my mother had to go through to make sure me and my brother had the things we needed to be successful in life. Looking back and knowing how my mother worked and still took care of us – nourished, mentored and most of all taught us about GOD – has truly paid off. That’s why it is easy for me to balance work and family – because my mother did!

I’ve learned that in every negative situation, to try and seek out some good! The reason I can say this – if you’ve lived not such a good life- you take those experiences and do better for your family and on the job. If you’ve lived a good life- you take those experiences and pass along to your family and work ethics.

So no matter what LIFE DEALS YOU… You can make a difference in your future!

Yes, it can be done

Do you ever get the feeling like it’s always… something? Remember the saying, “Either you’re about to enter a storm, in a storm, or coming out of a storm?” Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly in a storm. Yes, the storms sometimes change from one direction and right into another without a second of sunshine. Storms can rotate seemingly, causing high winds to bring about confusion from a simple disagreement with your spouse or significant other and from that on to your children misbehaving and then to top it off you never can get financially stable. At least that’s how it feels when the storms are raging.

No one and what I mean by no one – family or friends, you talk to, can give you the answers you’re looking for. And, of course it’s hard for others to understand what you’re going through when they haven’t gone through that exact situation. Ever wonder why that happens? Did you ever think it’s because you’re going to the wrong person or people? I recommend you take all your troubles and cares to GOD. He’s the only one that can ease the pain that you’re feeling. He may not be there right when you want him, but he’ll be there, right on time! He won’t put you through no more than you can handle. Just think, GOD may just need your undivided attention and this is the only way he can get it! Go to GOD in prayer when things are going good in your life and most definitely when they are not.

Always remember GOD knows exactly what he’s doing and he has you right where he wants you. Be patient, because soon the sun will shine. When you’re up to nothing, God always up to something!

I hope each of you enjoyed this day of love. My pastor always says “Keep the home fire burning” and “It’s nothing wrong with being hen pecked as long as you’re getting pecked by the right hen”. I really had a good time this entire weekend. It’s nothing like a holiday, but we (women and men) should show love each and everyday. We should show love to our significant others, children, family (especially the ones that get on our nerves LOL) and friends. Life is to short to wait until a holiday to let someone know how much you truly care. Let us make it a daily habit to tell the people we care about that we love them. Hope this helps someone.

Well… I thought I knew what commitment was all ABOUT. As a child in my pre-teen years -committing first to GOD, staying in the click with my friends and then – last but not least, obeying my parents was the way my young eyes viewed this thing called commitment. Of course, in most ways, I was right!
But as a mature adult, commitment took on a twist that only GOD could define for me.

It’s amazing that in the dictionary, commitment is defined as simply being a previously planned engagement or the act of being responsible and loyal – but in real LIFE it goes much deeper and extends wider than what our minds want to comprehend.

O.K. first let me begin with stressing the importance of dedicating your life to God by freely giving yourself to him. Now that’s the easy part!  Where it all becomes complicated is when we allow self to dictate what we will or will not do based solely on how we feel or how we’ve been treated.

I’ve learned that commitment is an act of true – unconditional love. Just like the love GOD has for us. Have you ever committed to something and no matter how hard you tried to release it something deep down inside just would not let you let go? That’s commitment!

Value- what about it? If you value something usually you hang tight to it.
You keep it in your possession. I’ll say value is another level of commitment. So let’s review – Unconditional Love and Value- yes… both spells commitment.

Let’s dig just a little bit deeper for one more real definition of commitment! Unwavering belief in yourself – if you believe in you, it helps you to believe in others. And, no matter how hard it may seem – every time you think about commitment – think about if you are being committed to yourself. How would you treat you? How many times have you forgiven you for mistakes you made? Get the point!

I found out that if you love you… it’s not that hard to be committed! Now, if we look at the acronym of what has been defined as commitment – you’ll find that:

U in Unconditional

L in Love

V in Value

U in Unwavering

ULVU = (You Love You) = equals (COMMITMENT)

You know the saying- time brings ABOUT a change. And, just like others, I’ve made my share of mistakes!  I do not live in a glass house! But, as a mature adult and through many trials and errors… working hard not to repeat those same mistakes has made me a better person.

Not sure why, but I have always been an individual that my family members and peers have come to for suggestions and advice. I have a host of family members and friends that God has blessed me with to share this journey called life. Talking with others and helping them in any and every way possible, gives me great enjoyment.

I am aware that life can sometimes become very unpredictable and stressful.  And, sometimes we just need those encouraging words to get us motivated to go on.  Now keeping it REAL … many of us, when we talk, we just want someone to listen to us without judgment or criticism.   So being able to listen is as important as offering advice. I’ve learned that we often think that no one goes through or have gone through personal trials but us. Come to find out … some of the same issues that we face day to day, many others have been there and done that too.  To our surprise, someone else’s situation is most times worse than we would have ever imagined ours to be!

The Real Tea is a blog site created to uplift, empower and encourage ALL women no matter age or race.   We all have testimonies that someone can learn from or relate to.  This site will allow you to write, comment and just read blog posts.   Ladies, we have to GROW through … what we GO through.  When you know better you do better you see, now that’s the REAL TEA.

Men you are not excluded! We want your opinions about how you see things. Feel free to leave your comments so we can try and understand from your perspective on these real life situations.